I love my husband, I love my husband, I love my husband. I have to remind myself of that when I get frustrated with him on this journey. I showed him the latest donor profile as well as a comparison spreadsheet I created showing the highlights of all three donors side by side. He makes no comment, other than to say: "Okay now that I've looked at what you've got, go look at what I've pulled up on the computer. See how much more impressive this donor is." So I go to the computer to find this profile . The first thing you will notice in the middle of the page is that she is 100% Italian (okay score 1 for Tony since the donors from our clinic were only part Italian). If you click on all of the buttons for medical profile, essay, etc. there is a ton of information, even more than the 13 page profiles we receive from our clinic. Her essay answers are quite impressive, although there are actually fewer essay questions on her profile than on the profiles from my clinic.
After I reviewed Tony's star donor profile, I proceeded to look at where this clinic and donor are located: Fairfax, Virginia. Okay darling husband, are you going to try to convince this donor to fly to Michigan, or were you expecting that we would fly to Virginia? Nevermind that he just started a new job and has very little if any vacation time. Nevermind the fact that although I have a lot of vacation with my job, I am extremely busy at work right now, not to mention my soap business. I certainly have the time to focus on a DE cycle here in Michigan when the clinic is 25 minutes from my house, but Virginia (?) - I think not.
I asked him if he also noticed the price difference in a cycle in Virginia versus at our clinic. First of all donor compensation in Virginia begins at $6000, key word begins. A typical donor cycle including everything is between $25k-$30k in Virginia. At our clinic we will be $15-$20k. He hadn't looked at pricing or thought about the distance. I was frustrated, but way too tired to get into an argument or spend too much time trying to make my point, so I just told him that he could go find a donor and fly her here. Go for it honey!
I didn't sleep much, tossed and turned and woke up with major jaw and tooth pain. I've been grinding my teeth a lot lately. I've also had a tooth pain attack every morning this week when I tried to eat my breakfast, so yesterday I went to the dentist thinking my crown was cracked. Dentist says no, I've just got my nerves inflamed above that tooth from grinding my teeth. I bit through my mouth guard a few years ago and didn't want to get a new one, well a new one will be on its way next month. He gave me a script for Motrin 800 (thank you Jesus) to take for 4 days only to bring down the inflammation, and some fluoride gel to rub on the gums. I also need to find a way to relax so the stress doesn't make me grind so much. I really thought I was handling this donor search and everything else in my life just fine. I haven't felt stressed until this week really. I know eventually Tony will come around, it's just as always we have to take 2 steps forward, 1 back, and a few steps sideways before we will come to an agreement. Anyway we agreed to discuss all of the donors this weekend when we have more time and we are more awake.
3 comments:
Argh. I remember those frustrating conversations. But you will come to a consensus, and you did bring up some things that he hadn't though about (distance, price) so hopefully he'll come around this weekend.
I think I've mentioned this to you before, but being an engineer, Scott has to consider ALL factors and all options, and talk things TO DEATH whereas I seem to be more of a big picture thinker that is easily able to summarize all facts to come to one logical decision (at least it's logical in my mind...ha ha...) Those conflicting approaches can definitely cause conflict. So I understand.
Be patient, girl. And try to find a way to relax somehow. I know it's hard, but it WILL work out.
He keeps things interesting, doesn't he?
Hopefully your conversation this weekend will be less frustrating - and yes, we all love our husbands, although there are times when we may not particularly like them. Hang in there!
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