Okay I'll keep it

I'll keep my private blog even if I only write in it a couple of times per month. Kacy to answer your question about opening it up to be public again; I'd rather not for a few reasons 1) - I do like having a private place to write about things that I don't want public. 2) Tarzan wasn't comfortable with me writing all of those details about our life and TTC for the world to see. He's fine with it now since it's a private blog. I do know that I could help other people by them reading my story, but I'll just try to help people individually whom I come across. 3) Along those same lines, my niece and nephew now have blogs and a bunch of IRL people we know read their blogs and I just don't want them coming to my Soapchick blog - the other one is fine for them to see.

Now with that being said I do have a little bit of news; but don't get too excited as I'm sure it will take forever. Tarzan and I talked finally, and he's not ready to give up and accept a child free life.  However he won't adopt (he still has his reasons), and I won't do DE IVF or any IVF again as my body has just had it, so that leaves us only 2 other options - traditional surrogacy or a miracle pregnancy on our own.  I'm not expecting any miracles, but I have been going to acupuncture once per week and I started Chinese herbs a few weeks ago.  I'm not doing too well on my healthy food diet (no sugar, no dairy, no caffeine, no wine), however I have to say that my most recent period that ended yesterday was longer and more voluminous than the previous 13 cycles.  It still wasn't good enough - meaning still not enough blood to make a good lining. However it was better, so I'll see how it is next month. Maybe the herbs will help it.  Regarding traditional surrogacy - I'm not at all happy about having to spend that kind of money, nor having to look for a surrogate. However Tarzan is okay with it, so he is actually going to start looking for a surrogate.  We'll see how long it takes. I wouldn't do anything drastic like check my blog every day or anything - it will probably take several months.

I told Tarzan that I'll be the oldest mother on the face of this earth if I ever do have a baby (however it comes), but he said it doesn't matter. He said he agrees that we are being somewhat selfish by having a child at our age (which will be 41-45 by the time it happens), but we are both in good health and we will do what it takes to keep up with our child so he/she has a good life and doesn't feel jipped (spelling?) by having old parents. 

We found a place we like in Chicago, but are waiting to rent it because Tarzan's trip to Germany is supposedly back on.  I hope the condo is still available for rent in a month, as it's gorgeous, and is furnished.  We decided just to keep our house in Michigan so we have something to come back to. That may change in the future, but for now we're keeping it.