Surrogate Search Week 1

In just over a week I've responded to about 12 ads on surromomsonline.com and also posted our own ad. I received about 8 responses in all, but after a few mails back and forth with all of them, I would say there are only 3 in the running. Some of the women write for a day or two and then fall off the face of the earth.  One of them has a very good excuse though - she's due for a surro baby in a week and may have already had the baby.  Another one that looked really good on paper and was gorgeous, unfortunately lives in Alberta, Canada and we just can't figure out a way to make it work with the legalities involved in an international surrogacy (insurance, passports, embassies, etc.).   Here is a summary of the 3 whom I'm continuing to talk to via email (in no particular order).

#1 - TN from E.Lansing, MI. Born in Croatia, she is half Croatian and half Italian, age 22.  She has lived all over the world with her parents and speaks 6 languages. She is a student at MSU, and has not been a surrogate before.  She became interested in surrogacy when she was sitting in her doctor's lobby and she started talking to a couple; they revealed that they were infertile and told her their story of failed treatments, etc. and the woman started to cry. TN felt such tenderness in her heart that she started looking into surrogacy. She sounds like she is in it for the right reasons.  We are meeting her next Saturday Nov. 6th in E. Lansing.  The Pros:  She's tall at 5'8", smart, beautiful dark brown hair, light brown eyes, very European, open so far, and local.  The Cons: She's in MI where surrogacy is considered "illegal" depending on who you talk to, so there would have to be some very careful steps taken. She's also a first time surrogate.

#2. AA from Oregon.  She is 27, married with identical twin boys and a daughter of her own, and she is also a 2 time traditional surrogate. She had her most recent surro son in June of this year.  She is tall at 5'8", has dark blond hair, brown eyes and is very open, honest and has shared a lot of information with me already. She and I have connected the most via email and seem very much alike. I can't explain it, but we can communicate very easily and I could see us being a great team in this journey.  I know she feels it too, and I feel a little bad because I can tell she is excited and would like us to pick her. I'm trying not to lead her on in any way, and I've let her know that we are talking to a few other surrogates and will continue to over the next few weeks.  Then after that we would like to meet a few of them on Skype and then in person.   Pros: She's experienced, so she's already got a draft contract, her own lawyer, another lawyer she could refer to us, we don't have to worry about her keeping the baby since she's a pro at this, I can see us having a lifelong friendship with her, she's tall, and Oregon is a very surro friendly state, so the legalities would be very easy.  Cons: She's in Oregon, so we'd have to fly back and forth a lot, She's more expensive since she's an experienced surrogate.

#3 AB from Iowa:  She is 26, married with one daughter and this would be her first surrogacy journey. She's very smart, an English major and has a job, and has always wanted to be a surrogate. She's a very "natural mama" and wants to know if we would be open to a home birth. I told her that we'd be willing to research it, but that the only home birth story I know is one that ended tragically (that blog where the baby got stuck and died).  I told her I'd want plans A, B, C, and D, and it would have to be located near a hospital.  She's very pretty - blond/blue eyes, but only 5'4" however she told me her mom is 5'8".  She is into yoga so we have that in common.  She is very emotionally mature and has asked some really good questions.  Pros: Iowa is very close to Chicago, so it would only be a 2.5 hour drive to see her - very easy for the conception as well as ongoing, she's very smart, has a good heart, is very healthy and likes everything natural.  Cons: She's a first time surrogate, she is shorter (but that's not a critical thing).

Tarzan of course thinks he's going to "just know" and by just know, I mean he's going to look at a picture and know. Ugh, give me a break! It's that damn male "visualness" crap that I'd like to kick across the room most of the time.  I reminded him that he didn't "just know" when he first met me. It wasn't until we dated and got to know each other that he knew I was the one.  Why would this be any different? We cannot base this on looks, this has to be a person whom we like and with whom we can have a lifelong relationship.  I'm a little miffed because I don't think he thinks AA from Oregon is pretty enough. Well I do, I think she's cute and besides it's not like we are supermodels.  Of course you know he is most drawn to TN from E. Lansing because she is European and the all important half Italian.  I like her too, but there would be a lot of risks to manage (state of MI laws, first time surrogate, so none of us know what we are doing).  We shall see how next week's meeting with her goes. I would then like to Skype with the other two, but I want to do it when we can both be available to Skype together.  Of course there may also be new potential surrogates who respond to our ad this coming week. I'll keep you all posted!