Period started late last night so we are at CD1 of the much anticipated IVF round two. Remember that feeling of peace I had at the beginning of Lent? Well it lasted the entire Lenten season, but as of last night, fear has snuck in. It may be due to the horrible cramps that have besieged me this time, but I bet it is more. It is the realization that this is most likely our last attempt at having our own biological child and I'm afraid to think what we'll do if it doesn't work. Therefore rather than go down that path, I'm going to use the "stop-thought" process immediately and focus on the here and now. First prayer: Dear God I ask for your strength and grace for the next 4 weeks. Second prayer: I ask for a good antral follicle count at my CD3 ultrasound on Friday. I'm going for a massage later this morning so I think that will help. Here we go!
P.S. - is "snuck" a word because the spell checker told me it was wrong, but none of the alternatives sounded right.
12 comments:
Yes, that's an anxious feeling. It's hard to not think past the present cycle. Enjoy your massage. I'll be thinking about you.
I think "sneaked" is better, but I could be wrong.
You will continue to be in my prayers. Let me know if you want to chat offline...my 2nd IVF attempt was terrifying, and well, you know what happened in #3.
Ah, snuck. Technically, sneaked would be the most correct. However, English is an evolving language and the past half of a century has seen "snuck" used more frequently and has become the standard for most standard writing, if not formal writing.
Fascinating, I'm sure!
I will think positive happy thoughts your way. I hope the massage is nice.
Best of luck!
I use the "stop thought" prayer a lot--it helps me to refocus and eases my nerves.
I like "snuck" as a word. =)
Oh, I know that feeling all too well.
I'm sending lots of prayers your way!
PS- snuck sounds good to me.
I use snuck all the time...all the cool kids are using it don't you know? I'm sending all my positive thoughts to your little follicles for your antral count on Friday. I hope your massage helps you relax...I'll definately be thinking of you!
Wow, I did not realize you were starting your IVF so soon. Wishing you the best of luck... I will be thinking of you. I might have to try that "stop-thought" prayer myself.
I'll be thinking the best for you and holding a good thought for you this entire cycle. And you are smart to focus on the here and now as it will really help to calm your fear and anxiety.
And just so you know, there is life, and peace, and calm to be found when you reach the end of treatment. It doesn't come right away, but it does come. Not that you will need this piece of advice, but I'm just sayin . . .
Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for the blessings that you have bestowed on Kelly. Now we ask your special strength and love upon Kelly and her dh as they go through this trying time. We ask you for the peace that passes all understanding that only you can provide. In Jesus precious and holy name, Amen.
ps- "snuck" is definitely a word :)
We'll be cycle buddies, I think. Do you have to start with birth control pills first? What about Lupron? I think that my tenative schedule has egg retrieval at the end of April, and embryo transfer (please God, let there be embryos!!) in early May. I'm glad that we'll be in this together. I'm on CD4 right now, and I start birth control pills tomorrow.
I'm liking "snuck" very much and totally understand totally what you mean by it.
I hope this is your cycle. Try to be in the here and now, but, speaking as someone who is permanently worrying several days/months or even years ahead, don't be getting stressed about it.
I spent all of IVF 2 comparing it with IVF1 - bad move. Avoid that one all you can.
Wishing you loads of luck for this cycle xx
Sorry about the anxiety, totally understandable though. I hope it goes smoothly. Hoping for lots of follicles at the antral count!
I like snuck as well.
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