I went to dinner with my mom last Friday night and she asked me if I had spoken to my cousin "Penelope" (fake name of course). I hadn't. She proceeded to tell me that Penelope is going to be a grandmother. A blank expression came over my face followed by eye rolling. Excuse me, she's 42 years old, way too young to be a grandma. If she is going to be a grandmother, that means that her 17 year old daughter, a senior in high school (same as as my oldest niece) is pregnant. This is actually very shocking because my cousin is a wonderful parent, extremely responsible, ambitious and raised her daughter to be responsible, get good grades, plan to go away to college, etc. If it had been the daughter of any number of other cousins, it wouldn't be so shocking, but this one - no way - unbelievable. Apparently she is due in early June, which means she's a good 15 weeks along. I actually saw her at Thanksgiving and did notice a bit of weight gain, but it never even crossed my mind that she could be pregnant.
I won't go on about how irresponsible this young girl was to get pregnant, because she's a kid, and kids tend to be irresponsible. They never think it will happen to them. However I will be drilling it into my nieces' and nephew's heads over and over again about how not to end up pregnant and throw their lives away.
Apparently she's going to keep the baby, which means she will be big as a house for prom, for graduation and I guess she can kiss going away to college goodbye. I do feel really bad about the situation, but I feel worse for my cousin, than for her daughter. I'm sure she is embarrassed and disappointed. She was looking at an empty house come next fall when her daughter was to go away to college. Now she's looking at helping her child raise a child.
Oh the irony of life. People like Tony and I, who would be excellent parents, can't have kids (at least not without paying thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dollars) and yet people who shouldn't be parents, have kids from one irresponsible moment.
I get to enjoy the Christmas Eve family party with a knocked up teenager - an infertile's dream eh? I suppose I will have a few cocktails that night to numb the pain and awkwardness of it all. Then Christmas Day at my in-laws with my SIL who is due in January. Just fabulous. I actually begged Tarzan to take me away for the holidays, but since he has to work between Christmas and New Years we'd only have 4 days. Sigh.
9 comments:
Life isn't fair. The ones who won't be able to handle it are the ones who get it at times. I'm so sorry. This just blows.
I'm sorry, Kelly. It is just plain shitty.
Wow that is crazy, that's all i can say.
Last night on tv i watched 'i'm pregnant and addicted to drugs'. i could only watch for a few minutes, basically a woman on methodone is pregnant and her fiance, the father, is also addicted to methodone, they both used to do crack. She can't stop the methodone becuase baby will have severe withdrawls and could possibly die, and they don't know how much damage the methodone is doing to the baby until she has the baby! It's so horrible. How could she do this to an innocent baby? She said, they weren't preventing pregnany but not trying, duh, what morons. The woman alos had a 4 yr old daughter he mom cared for, and she recently got custody of, because she left her kid at her moms house to go do/sell drugs for a few years, just makes me sick!!!
Some things are just not explainable. I'm sure your niece could use your help, it's going to be a rough couple of years, i could not imagine being pregnant as a young teen.
ugh, that sux. I'm sorry Kelly. You keep hanging on though. Your miracle is right around the corner.
I'm soo sorry. Holidays crammed in the same room with pregnant people who weren't trying really bites.
I hope your time is coming soon!!
In the meantime, yes, you should have a good auntie talk with your nieces (and nephews.) One of the best "deterrents" to teenpreg is molding a girl who knows she has a future ahead of her and is athletic!! Being involved and good at sports is a great self-esteem booster and builds assertiveness.
Young women need to know they should be calling the shots, that they deserve the best and should not bend to pressure from people trying to manipulate them.
I remember being 17 and it's so hard, you're so fragile. But sports and school gave me a LOT of courage and my mom had high expectations for me. There were people who believed in me and so I did too. Your nieces need you that way, too!!
Kelly
I'm sorry for your shitty Xmas - i hope it wasn't ruined by the proximity of pregnancy. Can't have been fun. Life's is so flipping unfair so much of the time.
Sorry also for going awol for so long. Been up and down and trying to get my life onto an even keel.
Need to do some catching up with so many gals.
I hope 2010 is a good year.
xxx
Ug, this reminds me of the X-mas I had to spend with Sam's knocked up cousin. I cryed the whole way there and home. The good news was that I was pregnant less than 6 months later. Hope 2010 is better
yes tell you friend to invite me to join the weight loss website, sounds awesome!
Oh my, oh my...
I think your reaction is completely normal and I totally agree. Ugh.
Sorry to reply so long after you posted but I hope you survived the holidays :) I can't wait to hear more about your surrogacy adventure!
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