at today's BBQ at my in-laws. Premonition before I even left the house, wondered about it when I saw my sister-in-law in her cute flowy sundress, confirmed when said sister-in-law asked her 3 year old daughter to tell the dinner-table her other secret (the first announced earlier that niece is now potty trained) - there's a new baby in mommy's belly (#3). Followed by fake clapping on my part, a pit in my stomach and all the strength in the world to not start bawling at the table. I made it another 2.5 hours before they all left and it was just Tarzan and I and his parents. Then the tears started and neither Tarzan nor my mother-in-law understand my tears or my envy. Too broken to even try to explain it.
My cycle absolutely must work, and then my child will have a cousin his/her age. If it doesn't - I'm taking a sabbatical from the family.
The thing is that they know Tarzan and I have not been able to have children and that we've been through hell in the past 2 1/2 years, but I've come to the conclusion that fertile people are just totally clueless in how to handle announcements like that to family members who are infertile. Oh how I would have appreciated an email ahead of time. I guess shame on me for not sending her an email months ago requesting that when it came time to announce the impending arrival of #3 that I would prefer an email to a surprise dinner announcement. Sigh.
9 comments:
I'm sorry, so very sorry. I have spent Christmas dinners in tears but trying to be "big" and enjoy myself and my family Sigh. It just sucks. I hope this is it for you, Kelly.
So sorry you had to go through that. Especially that Tarzan (and MIL) didn't "get" it; they are supposed to be allies for you! Not that your SIL is the enemy, please don't think that's what I mean. But my DH doesn't get it either, usually I'm fine with other kids but sometimes it is just a kick in the heart. Thinking of you - hoping your miracle is coming soon!
Oh Kelly, I'm so sorry for the surprise announcement, those are the worst. I'm not sure there's anything that is worse, well almost.
I know exactly how you feel about needing the cycle to work. I hope it does, and you can have some happy holidays! Thinking about you.
ack! I saw your name and the blood ran from my head thinking I had missed too much in your blog. It's the problem with private blogs, I am never notified of the updates and then I'm totally behind!!!
I am going to come and catch up here later today hopefully, but wanted to say hi! (and you asked about botox and breastfeeding and it's funny, but I just mentioned that in my comments before I read your post!)
I'll be back SOON!
I am so very sorry that you had to endure such rudeness!! Like you said, fertile people just really don't get it!! GRrrrrr!! They make me so mad!!
I'm thinking of you!!
I'm so sorry...she SHOULD have given you the heads up, AND should have been more sensitive in her announcement. Really.
I remember the kicks in the gut at every pregnancy announcement that wasn't my own. I hope you have happy news of your own to share very, very soon.
Those surprise announcements are the worst! Big hugs to you!
so awful... Everyone just assumes a pregnancy announcement will make EVERYONE overcome with joy.
Does SIL know you are having trouble conceiving or just parental inlaws? that would seem just so rude to have put you in the spot like that.
Some fertiles get it. It's rare and I think the more you cry and bawl in front of them when they're insensitive the better!!
So sorry I'm just now commenting and I'm so very sorry you had to endure such an 'announcement.' I'm even more sorry Tarzan and your MIL didn't get it...ugh.
I know I already said it but my heart just breaks for you because I remember when my brother called to wish TOIAW happy birthday and also told me they were expecting. I cried and cried and cried and then I cried again when--during a visit home--they announced at a big family dinner that they were having a boy. It was two years ago and I still remember having to listen to my SIL complain about morning sickness (but then I had morning sickness and totally understood).
I have nothing but positive thoughts and feelings for your cycle, Kelly!
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